


One Year Later

by ghost_writer26 (kinksock22)



Series: Until You [2]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alpha Jensen, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Barebacking, Bottom Jared, Knotting, M/M, Mating, Mating Bond, Omega Jared, RPS - Freeform, Rimming, Self-Lubrication, insecure jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-14 02:48:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7149626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinksock22/pseuds/ghost_writer26
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year later and Jared is still struggling with who he is and his relationship with Jensen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Year Later

**Author's Note:**

> I have struggled with, wrote and rewrote this a dozen times, and I'm still not entirely happy with it. For some reason, this dynamic between the J's gives me such a hard time even though it fascinates me. I finally just decided to go ahead and post what I have and be done with it.

Being with Jensen, being _mated_ to Jensen, turns out to be simultaneously easier than Jared ever thought it’d be and as hard as he’d feared. He loves Jensen, more than he ever thought himself capable of loving someone. But he still has that independent streak that makes sharing his life with someone hard, damn-near impossible at times. And because Jensen is too damn good to be true, he never complains, even swears that Jared’s independence is part of what makes him love Jared so much. But Jared can see the longing in Jensen’s eyes when his mate doesn’t think Jared is looking, knows that Jensen wants things that Jared just isn’t sure he can give.  
  
They’ve been together a year and still live apart, Jared is still on the suppressants and still uses the synthetic alpha pheromones more often than not. And even though he doesn’t really regret it and isn’t ashamed of it, he hides his mating scar as much as possible.  
  
Jensen deserves more, deserves _better_ , and Jared wants so badly to give him everything but he doesn’t know how to reconcile the love he has for his mate and the disconnect with his own biology, even after all this time.  
  
Technically, weres mate for life but that doesn’t mean that they can’t split up. As another example of the unfairness of his biology, Jared would never be able to take another mate – not that he’d want one – even though Jensen could. At times, Jared thinks it’d be more fair to Jensen to just let him go, let him find an omega that is worthy of being with him, that deserves Jensen and his enormous heart and unwavering devotion. Jensen has never said anything that even hints that that would be something that he wants but then again, Jared knows that he wouldn’t. Jensen just isn’t the type. Jared would have to be the one to walk away.  
  
He just doesn’t know if he has the strength to do it.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
Jared had ended up having to go out of town for a last minute, mandatory business meeting the day before his and Jensen’s one-year anniversary. Jensen was his normal, agreeable, supportive self, smiling and kissing Jared at the airport but Jared isn’t stupid nor is he blind. He could see the hurt and disappointment in his mate’s eyes, could smell it in his scent, could even feel it in their bond, despite how weak it is.  
  
So needless to say Jared’s surprised when he gets a text from Jensen the day he gets back home – a week later – asking Jared to meet him at the bar that night. His first instinct is to ask Jensen to meet another night – he’s tired from the week of nonstop meetings and travel and just wants a night alone in his apartment to rest – but he can’t justify being that selfish, no matter how exhausted he is. In addition, it might actually serve as the perfect opportunity to talk to Jensen about their relationship.  
  
Despite being extremely busy while he was out of town, Jared also did a fair amount of thinking about him and Jensen and he finally came to a very hard decision. He’s wasted a year of Jensen’s life and no matter how hard Jared wants to be better, to be worthy, he just doesn’t think he can be. So as hard as it will be and as much as it’ll hurt, Jared came to the conclusion that the best thing he can do is offer Jensen his freedom.  
  
Jensen’s warm, spicy scent hits him the moment he walks in the bar, even over the smell of alcohol and every other were in the room. Jared stops just inside the door, frozen solid. Until that very moment, he hadn’t realized just how much he’s missed that scent in the week that he’d been gone. For a second he thinks that maybe he was wrong about his decision to walk away from Jensen. Then Jensen looks up at him, their eyes locking together and Jensen smiles at him, so big and bright and full of love, that tantalizing scent spiking and Jared knows that he was right about walking away. He doesn’t deserve that amount of pure, unadulterated love and devotion.  
  
Swallowing thickly, Jared forces his legs to move and heads to the table where his mate is. To his surprise Jensen isn’t alone. In his stupor when he first arrived, Jared had totally missed the fact that the table is full, all of their friends sitting around Jensen, laughing and talking.  
  
Jensen stands up when Jared finally reaches the table, his mate pulling him into a hug, Jensen’s lips just barely brushing against his cheek. He can tell Jensen wants to greet him properly – can feel it in their weak bond – but he holds himself back, knowing that Jared isn’t comfortable with such public displays.  
  
Just another example of Jensen having to hold back for him, _because_ of him, and another example of why Jared needs to do the right thing and let him go.  
  
Jensen pulls him down into a chair at his side and for a few long moments the crowd all focuses on Jared, welcoming him back and asking about his trip. Jared answers all their questions, smiling and faking it as best as he can. He can feel Jensen’s concern – their bond works best when they’re close, even though after a year together it should be much stronger; Jared knows it isn’t at full strength, even after all this time because of him, because of his reservations and how he’s still holding back.  
  
Eventually – thankfully – the focus shifts away from Jared. Or well, everyone else’s focus aside from Jensen’s. His mate subtly scoots his chair closer, their thighs pressing together, and Jensen slides his hand over Jared’s knee, beneath the cover of the table where no one can see. Jared glances at him out of the corner of his eye, not at all surprised to see the concern darkening Jensen’s eyes or the small frown or the furrow of his brow. Jared knows that if their bond was at full strength like it should be, Jensen would be able to sense what’s wrong, would know immediately where Jared’s thoughts are.  
  
Jared turns his attention from Jensen to the group around the table, realizing with a start that all their friends are mated now. He can see how close each pair is, how they gravitate to each other, how even when they’re talking to someone else, most of their attention is on their mate. Why the hell can’t he be that way? Why can’t he give that to Jensen?  
  
Chris taps his empty beer bottle on the table and stands up, shouting for everyone to shut up and listen, he’s got an announcement. He pulls his blushing mate up to stand next to him – a pretty beta named Katie that Jared doesn’t really know all that well – and wraps one arm around her waist. Chris smiles down at her, almost beaming, and Jared feels a flash of jealously. Chris is by far one of the least romantic or demonstrative people Jared knows – even more than Jared himself. He isn’t a fan of big productions or announcements and he pretty much hates chick flick moments. So to see him looking at Katie like that is not only odd and unsettling, it just makes Jared feel even worse.  
  
Chris takes a deep breath and looks around the table, huge smile still in place. “We wanted y’all to be some of the first to know, since you’re like family… Katie’s pregnant!”  
  
The table erupts into cheers and congratulations, everyone laughing and talking at the same time. Jared sits and stares into space, feeling completely empty. Chris and Katie have only been mated for less than six months.  
  
He blinks and looks around the table again. Chad and Sophia had a little girl a few months ago. Steve and his new mate – an omega named Alona – have been together a little over a month and are moving in together. Both Jared’s siblings and Jensen’s have mates, live together, and have children; even Megan, Jared’s baby sister and the youngest at just twenty.  
  
There is something severely broken inside Jared. And he doesn’t know how to fix it.  
  
Pasting on a smile and blinking back tears, Jared stands up and pats Chris on the back and gives Katie a quick hug, congratulating them both, before stammering out some piss-poor excuse and all but running from the bar.  
  
He stumbles out the door into the cool night air, regretting his decision to walk the few blocks from his apartment. He just needs to get away and he needs to _now_.  
  
He’s not surprised when the door slams open after him but he is surprised to find Chad standing there glaring at him and not Jensen.  
  
“The fuck’s your problem, Jaybird?” Chad demands through gritted teeth.  
  
“I don’t have one,” Jared lies, flashing a strained smile at his best friend. “Been a long week, dude, and I’m just freakin’ beat. Need to head home and get some rest.”  
  
“Bullshit,” Chad snaps.  
  
Jared blinks, taken aback. Chad is pretty much the most easygoing person Jared knows and until right now, he hadn’t thought that Chad had a serious bone in his body nor that he could get this downright pissed. “Chad,” Jared sighs, shaking his head.  
  
“No,” Chad growls, grabbing Jared’s arm and pulling him toward the side of the bar, away from everyone coming and going. “I’ve watched this shit for a freakin’ year and I’m _done_.”  
  
“I have no clue what you’re talking about.”  
  
“Yes you do!” Chad yells, throwing his hands up. “You think we can’t see it, Jay? You think _Jensen_ can’t? What I wanna know is why.”  
  
Jared opens his mouth to deny, again, that anything is wrong, to tell Chad that he has no idea what he’s talking about. Instead, what comes out is, “I don’t deserve him.”  
  
Chad blinks, head tilted to the side. “Isn’t that for Jensen to decide?”  
  
“Jensen… Jensen is the best person I’ve ever known,” Jared damn-near whispers. “He’s sweet and amazing and he deserves… God, Chad, he deserves so much. Much more than I can give him.”  
  
“That dude loves you like I’ve never seen anyone love another person, man.”  
  
“Exactly,” Jared huffs. “He has the biggest heart and he…” Jared cuts himself off with a sigh. “He deserves a mate that isn’t defective.”  
  
“You’re not defective, Jared,” Chad replies softly.  
  
Jared snorts and shakes his head. “We’ve been mated a year, Chad. We still don’t live together, I’m still on the sups, still pretending to be an alpha unless we’re around y’all. Our bond hasn’t even settled fully, man. I can’t… I can’t give him what he wants, what he _deserves_. There’s something just… broken in me.”  
  
“What he wants, is you,” Chad sighs. “You were upfront with him from the jump, Jay. He knows how you feel about bein’ an omega…”  
  
“And I also told him that I wanted to try to make things work. And I haven’t. I’ve been goin’ through the motions. I still feel the way I did a year ago before I met him.” He sighs and leans back against the wall of the bar, head tipped back to stare up at the night sky. “I’m gonna let him go, Chad,” Jared admits softly. “It’s for the best. He deserves to find someone that can be what he wants, what he needs.”  
  
“Shouldn’t I get a say in that?”  
  
Jared closes his eyes, his heart slamming against his ribs. Between arguing with Chad and being so upset, he totally missed Jensen’s scent.  
  
He opens his eyes and looks down when Chad’s hand squeezes his shoulder. His best friend flashes him a small, sad smile and turns to leave, stopping to pat Jensen on the shoulder as well.  
  
Jared inhales deeply and turns to his mate, the look on Jensen’s beautiful face enough to break his heart. The anger in Jensen’s eyes surprises him though.  
  
“Jensen,” Jared whispers.  
  
“No,” Jensen cuts him off sharply. He inhales deeply and looks around them, his jaw clenched so hard Jared can see the muscle twitching. “We’re not doin’ this here. C’mon.”  
  
Jared bristles at the command but he can admit that Jensen has a point. Doing this right outside the bar they always come to probably isn’t the best idea. Instead of heading to the parking lot, where Jared assumes Jensen’s car is, Jensen presses his hand to the small of Jared’s back, getting him moving in the direction of Jared’s apartment. As soon as Jared takes a step, Jensen drops his hand. Jared can admit that he misses the warmth of his touch instantly.  
  
“Jensen?” he asks softly, carefully.  
  
“Your place is closer,” Jensen answers stiffly.    
  
They walk in silence to Jared’s apartment. It makes Jared edgy. Not just because of the upcoming conversation or the fact that he’s never seen Jensen this angry – well, honestly, he’s never seen Jensen angry period – but mostly because Jared doesn’t do well with uncomfortable silences. Or silence period, actually.  
  
Thankfully Jared’s place is only a few blocks away.  
  
Jensen turns to him when Jared lets them inside, his arms crossed over his chest, jaw still clenched. “Jensen,” Jared tries again.  
  
“So you’re just giving up? I heard that right?” Jensen snaps, cutting him off.  
  
Jared leans back against the wall next to the door, his shoulders slumped. “You can’t tell me that you’re happy, Jen,” he replies softly.  
  
“Did I ever say that I’m unhappy?” Jensen asks.  
  
“You don’t have to, I can see it.” Jared sighs, running one hand through his hair. “And besides, you’re not the type to say it, even when it’s true. You’re too good of a guy, Jensen. Which is why I’ve come to this decision. You deserve better…”  
  
“Than what?” Jensen asks harshly.  
  
“Than me,” Jared whispers.  
  
Jensen shakes his head and looks away, hands clenching into fists at his side. “I love you, Jared. And I thought you love me too. I thought that meant something.”  
  
“I do,” Jared breathes. “And it does. But I can’t… Damnit, Jensen, I can’t give you what you want. What you deserve.”  
  
“ _You’re_ what I want, dumbass!” Jensen half-shouts, turning his eyes back to Jared.  
  
“You want an omega that lives in your house and will have your kids,” Jared counters quietly.  
  
“Don’t tell me what I want, Jared,” Jensen grits out.  
  
“Okay, fair enough,” Jared nods. “But I’m sure you at least want a mate that doesn’t have a problem with who he is. That you want a mate that you can actually have a full, real bond with. It’s been a year, Jen. And I still feel the same as I did before we mated.”  
  
“I knew when we started how you feel about things, Jared,” Jensen sighs. “How you feel about yourself.” He takes a step closer, his scent hitting Jared hard, just like at the bar, and Jared nearly whimpers. “And I have never, not once, wanted you to change.”  
  
“So you’re okay with living apart our entire lives, with never having our bond settle fully, with never having kids?”  
  
“If that’s what it takes to have you, then yeah,” Jensen shrugs one shoulder. “I just wanna be with you, Jared. For better or worse, whatever it entails.”  
  
“You deserve better than a defective mate, Jensen,” Jared whispers. “And as much as it sucks, the best, the kindest, thing I can do is let you go so you can find that.”  
  
Jensen closes the rest of the distance between them, his hands sliding up Jared’s arms to cup around his neck. Jared closes his eyes, his heart breaking. “You’re _not_ defective, sweetheart,” Jensen argues softly, his lips brushing against the corner of Jared’s mouth. “And I don’t want anyone else.”  
  
“What if I can’t ever give you what you want, what you need?” Jared breathes.  
  
“You already have,” Jensen murmurs. “You do every day, baby.”  
  
Jared inhales deeply and tips his head forward, his forehead resting against Jensen’s. He can feel Jensen’s thumbs brushing up over his jaw, his mate’s heart beating against his own where their chests are pressed so close together. Jensen’s familiar scent surrounds him and Jared inhales deeply again. “I love you,” Jensen whispers. “Just the way you are.”  
  
Something shifts inside Jared, like a lock clicking into place. He _feels_ Jensen, like he hasn’t ever before. He can feel Jensen smiling against his jaw, knows without a doubt his mate feels it too.  
  
Jared gasps, his eyes snapping open. Jensen is looking up at him, eyes soft and full of love. Jared swallows thickly around the lump in his throat, his whole body trembling, his hands shaking when he brings them up, cupping both sides of Jensen’s face.  
  
“Jensen,” he breathes. Jensen’s smile gets bigger and he leans forward, brushing a kiss to Jared’s lips. “I don’t… What?” Jared stammers.  
  
“That would be our bond fully settling,” Jensen murmurs, half-teasing.  
  
“I don’t get it,” Jared whispers.  
  
“You’ve been pushing yourself this whole time,” Jensen explains softly. “Tryin’ to be what you _thought_ I wanted. For some reason, tonight, you finally got it into your thick skull that I just want you, exactly how you are. You don’t need to change for me, sweetheart. And you finally got that. Or finally believed it, I guess.”  
  
Jared tilts his head, a smile curling up his lips. Then part of what Jensen said catches up and he frowns, smacking Jensen’s shoulder. “Thick skull?” he demands.  
  
Jensen chuckles and slides his arms around Jared’s shoulders, pressing a sweet, chaste kiss to Jared’s downturned lips – he’s _not_ pouting, damnit. “Teasing, Jay,” Jensen murmurs, still chuckling softly.  
  
Jared tries to glare and maintain his frown but he can _feel_ Jensen, his joy and his love and his humor and he can’t keep up the charade for long. With a soft sigh he leans into Jensen’s chest, his arms sliding around Jensen’s waist. Things are better, he can admit that, but he still doesn’t think he’s ready to fix all the other problems within their relationship.  
  
“It’ll work itself out,” Jensen murmurs against the side of his head. Jared jerks, frowning slightly. He didn’t think he said that out-loud. Then it hits him. He’d kind of forgotten about their newly cemented bond and the fact that, along with being able to feel everything from Jensen, Jensen can feel everything from _him_ as well. “That’ll work itself out too,” Jensen adds with another soft chuckle. “Once it settles completely, it won’t be so overwhelming. Or intrusive.”  
  
Jared pulls back enough to look at Jensen, frowning slightly. “My concern still stands,” Jared sighs. “Just ‘cause we fixed one problem…”  
  
“The rest will come,” Jensen replies quietly. “We’ll work it out, Jay. _Together_. You just have to keep believing that I mean it when I tell you that I love you, that you don’t have to change. That I don’t _want_ you to change.” He slides one hand into Jared’s hair, loosely fisting the messy strands. “You just have to keep on believin’ in _me_.”  
  
“Believin’ in you isn’t the problem, Jen,” Jared sighs.  
  
“Just be yourself, Jay,” Jensen shrugs. “That’s all I need or want. If you don’t push yourself so hard to be something that you’re not, or try to convince yourself that you have to be a certain way for this to work, it’ll work itself out on its own.”  
  
A warm sense of peace washes over Jared, unlike anything he’s ever felt. It feels a lot like how Jensen’s love feels. He likes it. “I may never be okay with being an omega,” Jared warns softly.  
  
“I understand that.”  
  
“And I may never want kids,” Jared adds.  
  
“I understand that, too,” Jensen repeats. “That conversation is a long way off, Jay. Definitely not something we need to worry about tonight. Or soon for that matter.”  
  
Jared licks his lips and takes a deep breath, stares into his mate’s emerald-green eyes. “My lease is up here next month,” he mutters, voice trembling slightly. “Think we can try livin’ together?”  
  
Jensen smiles softly and brushes a kiss to the corner of his lips. “If you wanna try, sure we can.”  
  
“Would you really be okay with us not living together, ever?” Jared asks quietly.  
  
“Told you, if that’s what it takes, then yeah.”  
  
“I don’t…” Jared frowns, his nose wrinkling slightly. He half-growls when Jensen presses a kiss to the tip with a grin. “Don’t you wanna live together?” he asks, doubt creeping in despite his newfound ability to sense Jensen’s thoughts and feelings.  
  
“Of course I want to,” Jensen replies. “I’ve wanted to since the night we mated. But you know I’d never push you into anything, Jay. It’s gotta be your choice, sweetheart, or it would definitely never work.”  
  
There are times, though few and far between, that Jared kind of forgets that Jensen isn’t like most alphas. It’s times like this though, that when he does forget, that Jensen reminds him. Hell, Jensen not being like every other typical knot-head is the very reason that Jared mated with him to begin with.  
  
“Okay,” Jared breathes. “So, next month, I’ll move in with you.”  
  
“Unless you wanna find a different place, together,” Jensen shrugs.  
  
“I like your place,” Jared replies honestly. He can feel his cheeks heat but he still adds softly, “’s where we mated.”  
  
Jensen smiles brightly, eyes crinkling at the corners, his fingers tightening just slightly in Jared’s hair. “True,” he agrees.  
  
Jared can feel Jensen thinking about that night, can smell the spike in his scent. He tightens his arms around Jensen’s waist and pulls him impossibly closer, their bodies pressed together completely. “Ya know,” he murmurs, dipping down to kiss beneath Jensen’s jaw, nuzzling beneath his ear. “We never did get a chance to celebrate our anniversary.”  
  
Jensen hums in the back of his throat, his other hand sliding up into Jared’s hair as well. “No, we didn’t,” he agrees.  
  
“Think we should fix that?” Jared half-asks, mouthing at Jensen’s steadily increasing pulse.  
  
Jensen growls softly, the sound rumbling in his chest – and going straight to Jared’s hardening cock – and pushes Jared harder against the wall, fingers tightening in his hair enough to pull on the strands, tearing a moan from Jared. Using the hold on Jared’s hair, Jensen pulls his head back, baring the long line of Jared’s throat. He scrapes his teeth over Jared’s jaw then whispers against his ear, “Unless you want me to knot you against this wall, bedroom. Now.”  
  
There are times when Jared enjoys Jensen being a commanding, forceful alpha.  
  
Jared pushes against the hold Jensen has on him, thoroughly enjoying struggling against Jensen’s strength, and slides his hands down Jensen’s back, grabbing his perfect ass with both hands. Jensen lets Jared walk him backward down the hall for a few moments before stopping, slamming Jared against another wall, their lips crashing together. Jared groans and kisses back, biting at Jensen’s plush bottom lip, fingers digging into the firm globes of Jensen’s ass. He pushes away from the wall, his turn to slam Jensen into the wall across the hall. Jensen grins wickedly and lets go of his hair with one hand, shoving it between them, palm pressing against the hard bulge of Jared’s cock.  
  
Jared moans at the pressure and tosses his head back, giving Jensen a chance to bite at the sensitive skin beneath his jaw. Jared lifts one leg and wraps it around Jensen’s thigh, rocking his hips forward, another moan rumbling from Jared’s throat when he feels the hard length of Jensen’s cock. Jensen groans and reaches around Jared, shoving his hand down the back of Jared’s jeans, worming his fingers down the cleft of Jared’s ass, smearing through his slick.  
  
“Jensen,” Jared gasps, hips jerking forward again, their cocks rubbing together through way too many layers of clothing. “C’mon. Fuck…”  
  
Jensen pushes away from the wall and walks Jared backward the rest of the way into his bedroom. He spins Jared around and uses their combined weight to slam the door closed, fingers still teasing just the very edge of Jared’s rim. Jared grabs the back of Jensen’s neck and pulls him into a nearly brutal kiss, both battling for dominance as their tongues slide together, biting at each other’s lips. Jared eventually gives in, essentially melting against the door and letting Jensen take control.  
  
Jensen hums in the back of his throat and slows down the kiss, softening it, his hands going from grabbing and bruising to petting and gentle. Jared moans softly and pulls Jensen closer, their hips rocking together, just enough pressure to tease.  
  
“C’mon, baby,” Jensen murmurs against his lips, gently pulling him away from the door and leading him toward the bed, hands busy quickly but carefully stripping off his clothes. By the time Jared hits the bed, he’s down to just his underwear, his cock straining against the soft cotton, his slick leaking down the inside of his thighs. Jensen smiles down at him and crawls onto the mattress after him, between his spread legs, both hands ending up back in his hair, pulling him into another breathtaking kiss.  
  
Jared pulls away after a few long moments, fingers scrambling at the waist of Jensen’s jeans. “Jensen, please,” Jared breathes.  
  
As Jared pushes off his boxer briefs, Jensen crawls off the mattress and quickly strips off his own clothes before settling back down against Jared’s side and pulls Jared into his arms, hands sliding down his back, over his ass, sliding their lips together again. Jared can feel Jensen smiling into the kiss and it makes him smile in return, that same sense of warm peace from earlier settling over him.  
  
“Flip over for me, sweetheart,” Jensen murmurs into the kiss, smearing the words against his lips, nipping at the bottom one before sliding his tongue forward again.  
  
Jared ends the kiss slowly, catching Jensen’s dark, lust-blown eyes before he turns over, pushing himself up onto his hands and knees. They never do it like this – Jared’s always felt too exposed, too much like a bitch in heat, some common knot-slut and Jensen never pushed him on it – always sticking to on their sides or Jared on his back, despite how uncomfortable knotting is in that position. And while it still feels a little odd to Jared, the uncomfortable, over-exposed feeling isn’t there.  
  
He closes his eyes when Jensen drapes himself over his back, his mate’s lips soft and wet against the back of his neck, the crook of his shoulder, and feels any remaining tension flow from his body. Jensen nuzzles through the hair behind his ear, one hand rubbing gently up and down his side.  
  
“I love you,” Jensen whispers.  
  
“I love you, too,” Jared whispers back, smiling softly.  
  
Jensen presses one last kiss to the back of his shoulder before pulling away, licking a thick, wet path down his spine. Jared moans softly, back arching into the sensation, fingers curling into fists in the sheets. Jensen’s hands on his ass catch him by surprise even though they shouldn’t and he can’t stop himself from jerking when Jensen gently parts his cheeks, his tongue sliding over Jared’s leaking, pulsing entrance.  
  
A kiss is pressed to the small of his back and he hears Jensen murmur, “Easy, Jay. ‘s okay, baby.” It’s only then that he realizes he’s shaking slightly.  
  
“’m okay,” Jared rasps, turning his head enough to look at his mate over his shoulder. Jensen flashes him a smile, dark eyes full of as much love as lust. “’m okay,” Jared repeats, stronger.  
  
Jensen brushes a kiss to the cheek of his ass before licking around his rim again, a low, deep moan rumbling in his mate’s chest. Jared’s eyes flutter closed again and he loses himself in the feeling of Jensen’s tongue then the pressure of his fingers. Jared doesn’t need the prep – his natural slick is doing a perfectly fine job of loosening him up – but Jensen keeps teasing, working two fingers and his tongue into Jared until he’s trembling and on the verge of frustrated tears.  
  
“Jensen, please,” he eventually cries out, unable to take it anymore.  
  
Thankfully his mate listens. There’s a split-second where Jared actually regrets pushing when Jensen’s tongue and fingers disappear but then he feels the blunt tip of Jensen’s cock nudging against his hole. His knees slide apart further, spreading his legs wide enough that he feels the burn of his trembling inner thighs, and arches his back, tilting his hips up.  
  
Jensen sinks into him easily, Jared’s own slick and Jensen’s spit and pre-come making the slide completely frictionless. There’s a slight burning stretch and a fullness that Jared never thought he’d come to enjoy, to crave even, and he can feel every hard, thick inch as Jensen pushes until he’s buried to the hilt. Jensen drapes himself over Jared’s back again, one hand pressing into the mattress holding his weight, his other hand sliding across Jared’s stomach, his chest, stopping right over his heart. Jared smiles and turns his head, brushing a kiss to Jensen’s temple. His mate can be such a sap. And Jared kind of secretly loves it.  
  
Jared pushes back just barely, silently urging Jensen to move. Jensen turns his head, buries his face in the crook of Jared’s neck and slowly pulls out, thrusts back in harder and faster. It doesn’t take long at all to fall into a familiar rhythm, Jensen snapping his hips and Jared pushing back into each thrust, Jensen angled to hit his sweet spot on every other stroke.  
  
Jensen mouths wetly at Jared’s mating scar and Jared can’t stop a strangled moan from tearing from his throat. “Jensen,” he gasps, squeezing his eyes closed. “Please, babe. Harder, deeper… More.”  
  
Jensen snaps his hips harder, pushing in deeper, teeth scraping over the tender flesh of Jared’s scar. The dual sensations make him shiver, his cock twitching almost painfully. He’s already so close, can feel the pressure of his orgasm tingling in the base of his spine, tightening his groin.  
  
“So good, baby,” Jensen moans against his ear, squeezing his arm tighter around Jared.  
  
Jared hums in agreement, pushing back harder against Jensen, mewling softly when he feels Jensen’s knot starting to swell. Jensen buries his face in Jared’s neck again, groaning deep in his chest, as he pushes in deep, deeper than before, and grinds his hips forward. Jared tips his head back against Jensen’s shoulder, choking on a broken moan of his mate’s name. Jensen kisses along his neck and shoulder, echoing Jared’s moan as he circles his hips, his knot steadily expanding.  
  
In the next breath, Jensen sits back on his heels, pulling Jared up with him, spreading Jared’s knees wide over his thighs. Jared cries out, part surprise, part pleasure, melting back against Jensen’s chest as Jensen’s cock and knot sink in impossibly deeper.  
  
“Fuck,” Jared rasps breathlessly. “Jen… Oh fuck…”  
  
Jensen’s hands clamp down on Jared’s hips, urging him to move. Jared rolls back into each grind of Jensen’s hips, head falling back onto Jensen’s shoulder again. “C’mon, baby,” Jensen half-growls, fingers tightening almost hard enough to bruise as his knot swells completely, tying them together.  
  
Jared cries out again, body trembling as Jensen’s knot puts pressure on his prostate, his orgasm ripping through him without a touch to his cock. Jensen’s arms slide around him, holding him tight against his chest, as they both keep rolling their hips together. Jared’s vaguely aware of Jensen’s cock jerking and pulsing inside him, the liquid warmth of his release, his mate’s low groan in his ear but mostly he can’t focus on anything aside from the pleasure rippling through his whole body.  
  
Jared blinks his eyes open – hadn’t even realized that he’d closed them – at the feeling of Jensen kissing the back of his neck and shoulder, one strong, warm hand rubbing his chest. Jared moans softly and lazily turns his head, smiling tiredly when Jensen’s lips brush against his. Jensen’s smiling too when he ends the kiss, turning his face into Jared’s, nuzzling against his slightly too warm skin.  
  
“Hold on,” Jensen murmurs, tightening his arms around Jared as he gently tips them to the side.  
  
Jared snuggles back against Jensen’s chest after they settle on their sides, Jensen’s arms still locked tight around him. He closes his eyes, enjoying the soft sensation of Jensen’s lips moving over every inch of skin he can reach and the soft waves of Jensen’s continued orgasm still pulsing inside him. Jensen hums happily and nuzzles the back of his head, nosing through his sweat-damp hair.  
  
“Still wanna move in with me next month?” Jensen asks softly.  
  
Jared chuckles tiredly and slides his hand over Jensen’s where it’s resting on his stomach, lacing their fingers together. “Hell yeah,” he replies easily.  
  
They still have issues to work out, _Jared_ still has issues to work out. But for the first time since they mated, it finally feels like things are on the right track.


End file.
